Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.

Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.

There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?

High five, America!

*smack*

Bottled Water costs 10,000 times more than Tap, and is generally more polluted and less regulated.  Signs the Apocalypse is Nigh…

Click for large view.

My buddy Tom Caestecker is a Chicago-based wine reviewer – check out his latest column on Chilean reds here.  I just like hearing things described as “total fruit bombs”.  And what other wine review references the ‘sixth’ Rolling Stone?  Little Red Rooster, indeed.

Heh, props to the Carnivore. And I’m a vegetarian. If I could make a living mocking stupid coffee shop bulletins, I’d be tempted. Keep being awesome, indeed.

New Yorker Matt Kinsey went into the West Side Market in NYC the other day and picked up a container of assorted cheese cubes from the shelf. When he glanced down to see if the ingredients would truly be ‘great for snacks,’ he was surprised to find some classic rock lyrics instead.

As you can see from the photo, a verse from Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin’ ’bout love” was curiously printed on the label. In other words, ingredients = killer lyrics.

No word yet if thousands of mullet haired rock fans have made a pilgrimage to the market in their assless chaps to pay tribute to this one of a kind VH cheese. But In my opinion any cheese that’s “been to the edge, And [then I] stood and looked down” is some the best damn cheese ever made. Even if it’s rotten to the core.

The work of some rogue stockboy no doubt.

via yesbutnoyes / adage

This photo provided by the Florida Highway Patrol shows a State Police cruiser covered with bags of marijuana Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007. The Florida Highway Patrol says anyone missing two big bags of pot can call their Tampa area office. A crew picking up litter from along Interstate 4 near Tuesday morning made an unusual find: two big plastic garbage bags stuffed with freshly harvested marijuana. (AP Photo/Florida Highway Patrol)

I’ve been drinking obscene quantities of this stuff lately. Delicious – and a methamphetamine-like buzz to boot. A 64oz. jug of heaven will cost you, though – $8.79 at my neighborhood Canseco’s. Figure on getting at least 15 hiwatt megaton-strength coffee drinks out of it, though, which beats the hell out of punk Frappacinos up and down the street. Highly recommended, seriously good iced coffee. If you manage to drink the entire 64oz., let me know how it goes. Been there.

A photo provided by the Zoo Safari and Hollywoodpark Stukenbrock shows the zebra and horse crossbreed ‘Eclyse’ during its presentation to the public in Schloss Holte, Germany, on Wednesday, June 27, 2007. The father of ‘Eclyse’ is a horse from Italy, where the crossbreed filly was born in 2006, her mother is a zebra from the Safari park.
(AP Photo/uripress.de, Udo Richter)